oxfordhacker

While I'm pleased that NaBloPoMo is so far successful in encouraging me to write posts, I'm less happy that doing so is causing me to stay up late. Indeed, most of this month's posts have been finished after midnight which isn't really in the spirit of the thing and, more importantly, is eating into my sleeping and hugging time. Recommendation posts take a deceptively long time to write, because they normally involve me digging into site archives and my bookmarks to select the perfect examples. Instead, tonight I'm going to write about another stricture which I have imposed on myself in the name of self-improvement.

The problem with working in medical statistics is that you become all too well aware of any flaws in your habits. I see colleague after colleague presenting results from all around the world that show incidence of various diseases increasing with tobacco intake, for example, but that's not too bad because I don't smoke or hang out with (regular) smokers. More unsettling are the ones for alcohol consumption. I had gotten into the habit of having a largish glass of wine with dinner every night, and that would often lead to another one afterwards. I'd rarely end up drunk, but would very rarely have a night off and was certainly exceeding the recommended limits, leaving me at the high end of a number of graphs of unpleasant conditions. I'd tried various ways to cut down: giving up entirely (which I found possible, but unsatisfactory), not drinking at home (which was a shame when tinyjo cooked something special), stopping at one drink (tricky), and so forth. None of them had been very successful, or rather, none had felt very sustainable. However, I've been using my current technique for about six months now and it seems to be working remarkably well, so I thought it might be of interest.

It was, I think, inspired by an article I read somewhere about gamification. I decided to try coming up with a system which was easy to administer yet flexible, and would cut down on my casual drinking while leaving me free to enjoy social drinks. I call the result 'Teepartial', and it works for me. The goal is to only to drink every other night (on average), and the rules are:

• My score started at 0
• It goes down by one on a day when I drink
• It goes up by one on a day when I don't drink
• It mustn't go below -3

Recently added modification:

• It stays the same on a day when I drink exactly one drink (which I'm defining loosely as a pint or a largish glass of wine. Less than 2.5 units, say.)

This seems to work for me, in that it makes me think about whether I really want a drink rather than having one by default., while rarely (it transpires) actually leaving me feeling deprived. I can plan ahead and save up for busy weekends, or work one off afterwards with a week of soft drinks. It could clearly be modified to allow more or fewer drinking nights by adding or subtracting an additional number at the start of every week, but I'm leaving it as is for me for now. I realise that I have no idea whether people will think that this scheme leaves me admirably ascetic or still hopelessly alcoholic; but a recent press release from the Royal College of Physicians endorsed very similar-looking behaviour.

My final resolution is not, as some people insinuated, a 'January detox'. Yes, I have decided not to drink any alcohol this month, but I prefer to think of this as Straight Edge Month, thank you.

My reasons are, to be frank, vague. I've always had a slightly uncertain relationship with alcohol (in fact, you could say my attitude towards drinks is mixed^*). It's fun to get drunk sometimes, but at other times it's just depressing, and I find it hard to tell in advance which it's going to be. It's a mood-enhancer, I guess, but it doesn't consistently enhance the right mood.

Also, when I drink it's normally at a pub or party with my mates, and the purpose of the gathering is chatting (at least, as far as I'm concerned). What I'm hoping for is to hit that sweet spot where a few drinks have been drunk, the conversation's flowing, and fancy flies free. The conversation takes strange turns; schemes are hatched; jokes recounted, re-purposed or created; and we collaborate in producing a ephemeral structure, a house of cards of speculation and invention which pleases and surprises us all.

I'm not sure whether this blessed state is actually induced or assisted by alcohol, or just frequently coincident. The problem is that it requires a perfect conjunction of mood, circumstance and company that's rare enough that it's hard to draw firm conclusions. And for every time it helps, there's a time when it hinders, making me tired and withdrawn, or leaving me feeling (rightly or wrongly) that my conversational skills have been impaired. Perhaps bizarrely, if I'm going to say something really ill-considered or incoherent, I'd rather that it was because I'm intrinsically insensitive or rambling than because my judgement was clouded by alcohol.

The deciding issue is simply my biology: when I get drunk, my memory is the first of my faculties to fail. Quite apart from the slightly creepy idea that I then wander around like a philosophical zombie, it sucks to only be able to remember the start of the party or the support acts at a gig, even if other attendees can attest that I seemed to be enjoying myself.

So, I've jacked in the booze, for January and perhaps beyond. I'm in good company:
Richard Herring, comedy genius, does this on a regular basis; and white_hart & topicaltim are the ones that gave me the idea⁺. Part of white_hart's reason really resonated with me: 'I'm starting to wonder whether I even enjoy drinking that much now... in the right company I can have just as much fun sober as drunk; in the wrong company alcohol doesn't really make things any easier.'

The practical effect has been fairly minor. I've attended a few gatherings and not had less fun than I reckon a hypothetical drinking 'control' oxfordslacker would have had. I've been tempted a couple of times (I often feel like a beer after a few hours lugging books at Oxfam) but haven't caved in yet.

I don't feel any particular peer-group pressure (apart from the good-natured mockery I mentioned in my introduction), because my peer-group has always ranged from tee-totallers to fairly hard-core drinkers. I think I'd feel more self-conscious in front of 'new' people, but I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps I don't like the assumptions that I assume that they would make about me based on this. I'm sure I'd cope somehow.

I've lost a couple of pounds, which was not really part of my aim. It is quite reassuring though, as I've always told myself I'll give up booze if I start getting fat, and it's nice to know that that might actually work.

Ideally, after this experiment is over, I'd go back to drinking in moderation. As I say, I like the relaxation that a pint or two can lend. I do enjoy the taste of many alcoholic drinks as well, though (un?)luckily I'm not much of a gourmand, so I feel don't feel this loss as highly as another might.

However, I know from past experience that moderation is difficult, much harder (for me at least) than giving up altogether. I suppose imposing inhibitions on one's consumption of a inhibition-lowering substance is bound to be a tricky endeavor. This is especially true when the reasoning behind the inhibition is pretty flimsy. Perhaps the perspective that I have developed from performing and writing about this little experiment will help in future. We shall see...


* Be grateful that I scrapped the draft which had a pun like this after every sentence for the whole paragraph... It was nigh unreadable for several different reasons.

+ Though at the time of posting, I believe that both have revised their resolution to 'drinking only in moderation'.