oxfordhacker: (Default)
I'm a fool. Seeking inspiration for today's blog post, I thought "I know! I could produce some more stats about my morning pages. Maybe I could try to see whether my word count varies with mood?" This is a probably not a terribly promising subject for anyone else but I liked the idea, so fired up Excel and got to work. An hour and a half later, and I have some neat formulae, some questionable metrics, a graph that doesn't seem to be very enlightening, and about 5 different ideas on how to improve or extend this investigation in different directions. I've been working in data analysis for over three years now; I should have realised that this was the only possible outcome. Nevertheless, I failed to apply my ability to extrapolate trends to my own behaviour. Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

In many ways this is a positive outcome. Sure, I was just tooling around, but this is all indicative of a regained ability to focus on tasks (and even better, to enjoy doing so). Maybe it's the SAD lamp, maybe it's another factor, but it's certainly a relief. I guess this evening has taught me something about my mood after all... Anyway, I spent too long making the damn graph not to share it with you, though I concede that I haven't given it the most promising build-up:
Here be scribbles )
oxfordhacker: (Default)
This year I made a resolution to write daily morning pages. The idea is to start the day by writing for about 20 minutes, on any subject you want in principle, though mine always end up being about the previous day. I've tried doing them before, and normally managed to keep them up for a month or two (with the odd gap), before falling behind, making a few pushes to catch back up, and eventually stopping altogether. However, this time (much to my surprise) I've managed to stick to it, even though this has surely been the most disrupted year I've ever had: (e.g. our house was knocked down and rebuilt, I spent three weeks commuting into London to an epidemiology course, and I presented at (and helped run) my first conference.) Sure, there were two or three days where I just did a perfunctory couple of lines, but others when I wrote for an hour, and it's averaged out at 776 words/day, which is 247,479 words in total(!)

You see, while the original morning pages concept suggested that you write long-hand, I've been typing mine on my phone instead. Not only is this quicker, easier, more comfortable and more convenient than writing with a pen like some sort of animal, but it means that I can then analyse the results, and there are few things I like more than recreational data analysis. However, it's late, so for now I'll just present a wordle of the results:
Wordle: 2011 to date...
oxfordhacker: (Default)
As I've mentioned, I've been doing morning pages on and off (and more on than off) for the last few months. When I realised that I'd written my hundredth today, it seemed like something to celebrate, so I exported the lot into a text file and fed it to Wordle to see what's been praying on my mind. Turns out it's this:
Wordle: 100 Morning Pages

I'd tried writing some analysis of this, but it gives such a neat overview that I decided that writing about it spoilt the impact. (Maybe I'll do some graphs later.) I will mention that this represents 74,470 words, a number that invokes equal parts pride and mortification. So much time! So much effort! So many words, all typed into the tiny keyboard of my lovely little phone!
oxfordhacker: (Default)
One day, do this, a little experiment: close your doors and sit in your room, and just start writing your thoughts - whatsoever comes into your mind. Don't change them, because you need not show this paper to anybody. Just go on writing for ten minutes, and then look at them. This is what your thinking is. If you look at them, you will think this is some kind of madman's work. If you show that piece of paper to your most intimate friend, he will also look at you and think, "Have you gone crazy?" And the situation is the same with him too, but we go on hiding the craziness. We have faces, and behind those faces are madmen.

From 'No Water, No Moon: Reflections on Zen' by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.

I read the above a few days after starting Morning Pages, and took great pleasure in its serendipitous appropriateness. It seems the perfect way to introduce my reflections on the end of a month of writing (something, anything) for about half an hour every morning. I'm pleased and surprised to find that I've managed this every day, particularly because I'm actually rather enjoying it. As an enormous geek, I've celebrated this accomplishment by producing a spreadsheet showing each day's word count (mean: 692), time taken (mean: 34 mins) and thus words per minute (mean: 21). Then, out of further curiosity, I loosely categorised each entry by topic or topics contained therein; and having done that, of course, I produced graphs of all the above. Luckily I'm a merciful geek, so I will only share one of them with you:



As you can see, a significant number of pages are about Morning Pages, partially because they're a novelty and I've been trying to work out exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, what I'm trying to achieve, and whether they're having any effect. Also, of course, faced with a blank page (or screen, in my case) it's a classic lazy writer's technique to start writing about the fact that you're writing. Musing on NaBloPoMo and its effects have contributed strongly to the Blogging count. Angst has edged ahead of Happiness, but this does not reflect my mood (even my mood in the morning) so much as a tendency to try to think my way though negative feelings (a process which morning pages seem to aid) whereas if I'm happy I'll often just write about fun things rather than happiness itself. Work obviously features strongly: it's still relatively novel, and on some mornings I've done little but blog, sleep and work since the previous day's page. It also seems that my Saturdays at Oxfam normally generate something worth mentioning the following morning. Anecdotes and Life are two sides of the same coin: anecdotes being entertaining incidents that may subsequently find their way into this journal, life is the tiresome 'then I did this, then I did that' stuff that I try not to inflict on anyone but myself. I'm sure few will be surprised to see Sex looms large on enough mornings to merit its own category. I also realised quite early on that this exercise made an ideal Dream journal, so I've been recording them here. It's obviously had an effect, because I don't typically remember my dreams very well (I blame waking up to the radio) but since I started noting them down they've been easier to fix in my mind.

So there we go. Clearly an exercise that I find interesting, though I fear my rambling may not have inspired this interest in others, graph notwithstanding. Still, if you find yourself, for whatever reason, with half an hour to kill in the mornings I'd thoroughly recommend giving writing a go. I certainly intend to keep this up for the foreseeable future, though not probably not to subject you all to any more analyses. Unless it produces a really good graph...
oxfordhacker: (Cute overload)
As per usual, I've been meaning to post more but not getting round to it. Unusually, I have come up with a cunning three-pronged plan to encourage me:

Motivation

What better way to motivate myself to post more frequently than to join the layabout cousin of the international phenomenon NaNoWriMo? Well, I couldn't think of one, so:

Inspiration

I've just been on Reading Week, the sort of holiday I kept trying to have as a child in spite of my family: I sat around for a week, doing nothing but chatting to friends, sleeping and reading. I didn't even go outside. It was awesome. On these holidays I always make notes on the books that I've read but don't then go on to do anything with them at all, not even keep them somewhere convenient as a reminder of what I liked and disliked. This time, I thought I could do a review a day. That's a week's worth of material right there. After that, I'll see how it's going, and either start reviewing other books I've read this year, or other things, or write something else entirely.

Concentration

I think it was [livejournal.com profile] bluedevi who first introduced the concept of Morning Pages to me. The concept is pretty straight-forward: spend 20 minutes or so writing something each morning. Normally, I'd be horrified by the prospect of exerting more than the bare minimum of necessary effort in the morning, but actually it fits into my new schedule surprisingly well. Now that [livejournal.com profile] tinyjo is a teacher, she gets up much earlier than I need to. I was just going back to sleep for an extra half an hour, but that wasn't really very restful and I'd often wake up feeling worse than before. Instead, I can just roll over, grab my phone, and start typing while she's getting ready for work. The original source for morning pages suggests that you write them long-hand, but it was written in 1992 before long-hand became obsolete.

An awful lot of bullshit has been written about the benefits of this exercise, but for me it's as simple as getting me into the habit of writing, and feeling enthusiastic about doing it. Hell, in the past week I wrote [word count] 4367 words just as part of this exercise, which is probably more than I've written in a week since school, possibly since forever. It's early days, but I'm hoping this will make it easier for me to write other stuff too. I guess we shall see...

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