Kick ass!

Dear oxfordslacker,
We would like to relax the outright ban on your use of the internet as a reflection of the commitment you have shown to your work since you joined company name excluded for security reasons. Please note that you should familiarize yourself with the communications policy set out in the section 5.3 of the company name excluded for security reasons handbook concerning the use of the Internet.
Please understand that it is very much a privilege provided at our discretion, and not a right, and that your use will be monitored more carefully than those of other people due to the concerns raised by your referees.
Yours sincerely,
The MD

Never has such equivocal correspondence led to such unequivocal pleasure.
I've missed jeopardising my job by pissing my life away on this site you guys!