My tweets

• Sun, 23:24: RT @SoVeryBritish: Descriptions of a slightly busy shop: 1. Absolute chaos 2. A bloody nightmare 3. Mayhem 4. Total carnage 5. Heaving 6…
• Mon, 07:53: RT @_Enanem_: I just asked the landlord if he sold alcoholic mixed fruit drinks on draft?He told me to get fucked.… he certainly doesn't pu…
• Mon, 08:00: RT @ZachWeiner: Each equation halves the sales of your book. But each kitty picture doubles sales. So, just put a kitty in every equation a…
• Mon, 08:05: RT @lowtax: Riddle me this https://t.co/0egfLq3WFc
• Mon, 08:10: RT @paul1kirby: West Europeans killed by terrorists. A reminder of the bloody 1970s & 1980s. And the relative calm of 21st century https://…
• Mon, 08:12: RT @ryanqnorth: I thought I had a turkey baster but I can't find it, and I never posted on Twitter about it either?? doesn't seem like me …
• Mon, 08:18: RT @str8boytexts: http://t.co/RCaoEBQqDj